He's coming home.... Now what?

So in light of the fact that we are at wartime, more and more of our husbands are being deployed, often and for a long time. There is a lot out there on how to deal with deployment, but what about the end of deployment? The homecoming? the first weeks getting used to one another.

Everyone has a different time line when it comes to deployment. You may start thinking about your husband's redeployment 6 months before he gets home, or not until there is only 2 weeks left. Of course, dates change often and you go through a lot of emotions.

At first you may be excited, just sheer anticipation of your loved one coming home. You may feel worried,you haven't lived with this man for xx amount of months.You may wonder if you are even going to get along! You may also have other things you are anxious about. Your finances are going to change, your roles and responsibilities around the house may change a little or they may change a lot.

When you start to anticipate your husbands homecoming, try to stay positive! If there are children involved, vow to stay on the schedule you have them on right now, they are more likely to adapt when bedtime, chores and rules stay the same or only change a little bit.

It is difficult for one who has not been deployed to understand what your husband has gone through, how he feels and what he wants to share. If he chooses not to share his experiences with you, right away or at all, do not take it personally. Many people recommend giving your spouse as much space as they need. This is particularly hard, seeing as you have waited months and months to see him, but give them time to adjust. You have both grown and changed, and most likely, this deployment has strengthened your marriage.

Don't forget to pray for your family during this transition. Although it can be rough, just remember to hang in there, and don't sweat the small stuff :)

Care Packages

Care Packages aka home in a box. Other than letters these are the most requested items from home. If you have never sent a care package, dont worry you can have a lot of fun with them. First things first: stock up on free packing supplies ( priority supplies) from the post office, or call and get them delivered (1-800-610-8734 )
You need to fill out a customs form as well as as address the box. Flat rate boxes are the best deal when you are sending over 4 pounds of goods. If sending less, ie 1 pound of cookies, put into a smaller box and use newspaper towels etc until contents are secured.

Basic Care Package:
Great basics if your soldier refuses to ask you for anything, or he tells you whatever you want to send.

A card or letter- Let them know how much you miss them and can't wait to see them again! These cards and letters are often kept as morale boosters, and its nice to be appreciated!

Soft fluffy towels- Bath Sheet size are ideal.

Powdered Drink Mixes- ie Gatoraide, crystal light, individual packages ( It gets hot in the sandbox and they HAVE to hydrate, these make it easier and tastier

Snacks:
Individual cookie packages
Candy- jaw breakers, starburst, jelly beans, gummy bears
Microwave popcorn
microwave mac and cheese
Granola bars
Trail Mix
anything they like to eat at home
home baked cookies- generally write date baked on and put a peice of bread in the baggie
Paper and pens for them to write you letters

Sheets- pillow cases- it is always nice to have a clean set of sheets!

Socks and Flip Flops... Not to make a fashion Statement, rather for showers and in the boots

Gel Insoles

Pictures or small scrapbook...

A shirt you have worn or sprayed with your perfume in a zip lock bag


Birthday Packages

Everyone has their own traditions for birthdays, but you can always send :

- Cake in a jar
- Tub of icing
- Candles
- Pin the tale on the donkey
- Pinyatta filled with candy
- Pictures
- Birthday Cards*** (really makes them feel special if you throw a card shower for them and includ a ton of cards from family and friends)
- Party Hats

With other holidays just get creative and have fun with it. More than likely if it makes them laugh, it was worth all your effort. I recently sent my husband a flashing tiara for his birthday. he only wore it for about 30 seconds, but he did get a chuckle out of it.

What do you like to send??

Separation Tips

When your spouse is in the military, spending time apart from each other is inevitable. There is Basic Training, AIT, 24 hour duty, deployments, field training and many more. Dates change he may leave sooner than expected, or train out of state longer than expected.

While separated both of you have a lot of time to think, and sometimes minds can wander. Many times you can not initiate communications, and must wait to hear from them. Your husband will have limited access to phones and computers, if any at all.
It is so important that when he does get to call you, you are happy to get the call. Sometimes you may be having a rough day, week or month, try to stay positive when speaking with him and dont sweat the small stuff.

It is very easy to let a lot of small things add up and get to you, but in the end, it is all just small stuff, that you will soon forget about. Just remember your husband needs your support as much as you need his!