When you are new to the military its hard to understand neither you or your husband really has control over anything at all. Sometimes your husband will make decisions you don't understand even if he isn't forced to, and it can be really frustrating.

Most of the time, Military people have no choice about being deployed, training dates, R and R, CQ duty, Extra duty etc. They will be called in with 7 minuets notice to report to work, or sometimes less than a week before deploying. Sometimes you have an estimated date of separation weeks or months in advance, that will change several times closer to the date. Often times with little or no notice.

The times when they are gone longer than expected or leave sooner than expected can be very frustrating. It is hard to do, but try to let go and let God. A very wise friend told me those instructions. When something like this happens, it can be very upsetting, saddening and confusing.

Remembering that your husband does not have control over a lot of situations is so important. You are a very special type of wife, you are a military wife. As such drawing strength from God, good friends and even within are needed.

Try your very best to be positive about whatever situation you end up in, because regardless of how you react, you will still be in the situation. Your husband needs your support just as much as you need his.

There will also be times when your husband has a choice, say he is deployed and has the chance to come home but decides against this. It can be very confusing, but a lot of times when they are deployed they are fighting for the guys beside them and that is where they feel they need to be. They may not come home because it will take them out of the mindset they require to survive. Try to understand and respect the decision they make. They still love you very much and are just doing what they feel is right.

Learning to roll with the punches and go with the flow will save you hours of worrying, that could be better used elsewhere. Learn not to sweat the small stuff and try to see both sides of a story. Keeping in touch with God and praying are also so helpful. He may not answer you prayers in the way you expect but he will be there for you no matter what!