New to the Military

Military Style Christmas

2007-12-06T10:06:00.000-08:00

Whether this is your first military Christmas or you have a few under your belt, the military lifestyle always throws in a few twists!

If you are lucky enough to have your spouse home this holiday season, you may not have a chance to head home for Christmas. Keep your family and friends involved by sending out Christmas cards, and is possible video taping you having dinner, opening presents and sending it to your friends and family.

If your husband is deployed, keep him involved by sending him a care package for Christmas! If he loves sugar cookies you can video tape making the cookies and include that in the package. If you always put up a tree at home, you can include a little tree in the package.Decorations and presents are a plus.

Remember the reason for the season. Christmas is celebrating the day Jesus was born and all that comes with it. No matter what your situation is, just remembering he was born to pay the debt of our sins and give us the chance to get into Heaven gives us a chance to reflect on all the blessings in our lives.

Have a very Merry Christmas :)

Reunited

2007-10-29T20:18:00.000-07:00

So, Deployment has come and gone, everything is perfect now right??

Once your husband comes back from deployment, and you have gotten over the initial shock, you will both realize life is different. Hopefully God has blessed you both and your marriage and connections have strengthened! You have set your own schedual while he was gone, done your own thing and grown over the deployment. He is a little or a lot different now as well.

You are now going to be faced with some challenges and changes that need to be tackled right away! Try to include your husband in activities he was involved in before he left. Yes, you may be able to do them yourself now, but knowing he is needed, cheerished and appreciated will help your transition so much!

You may need to adjust your budget. You may or may not have been working outside the home, and need to decide if that is what you want right now. Your pay from the army is now taxable and has changed. Try not to buy any big ticket items as soon as your soldier gets back- give your family time to adjust to different income.Also, make sure you do not spend extra pay you receive after your husband has returned, it will be deducted in the future.

Continue to pray for your husband and be patient! Your new schedual will sync up with you very soon! Don't lose the friends you grew while your husband was away. These wonderful people have supported you during this time, make a little time for them as well!

God Bless!

He's coming home.... Now what?

2007-08-28T11:51:00.000-07:00

So in light of the fact that we are at wartime, more and more of our husbands are being deployed, often and for a long time. There is a lot out there on how to deal with deployment, but what about the end of deployment? The homecoming? the first weeks getting used to one another.

Everyone has a different time line when it comes to deployment. You may start thinking about your husband's redeployment 6 months before he gets home, or not until there is only 2 weeks left. Of course, dates change often and you go through a lot of emotions.

At first you may be excited, just sheer anticipation of your loved one coming home. You may feel worried,you haven't lived with this man for xx amount of months.You may wonder if you are even going to get along! You may also have other things you are anxious about. Your finances are going to change, your roles and responsibilities around the house may change a little or they may change a lot.

When you start to anticipate your husbands homecoming, try to stay positive! If there are children involved, vow to stay on the schedule you have them on right now, they are more likely to adapt when bedtime, chores and rules stay the same or only change a little bit.

It is difficult for one who has not been deployed to understand what your husband has gone through, how he feels and what he wants to share. If he chooses not to share his experiences with you, right away or at all, do not take it personally. Many people recommend giving your spouse as much space as they need. This is particularly hard, seeing as you have waited months and months to see him, but give them time to adjust. You have both grown and changed, and most likely, this deployment has strengthened your marriage.

Don't forget to pray for your family during this transition. Although it can be rough, just remember to hang in there, and don't sweat the small stuff :)

Care Packages

2007-08-02T21:54:00.000-07:00

Care Packages aka home in a box. Other than letters these are the most requested items from home. If you have never sent a care package, dont worry you can have a lot of fun with them. First things first: stock up on free packing supplies ( priority supplies) from the post office, or call and get them delivered (1-800-610-8734 )
You need to fill out a customs form as well as as address the box. Flat rate boxes are the best deal when you are sending over 4 pounds of goods. If sending less, ie 1 pound of cookies, put into a smaller box and use newspaper towels etc until contents are secured.

Basic Care Package:
Great basics if your soldier refuses to ask you for anything, or he tells you whatever you want to send.

A card or letter- Let them know how much you miss them and can't wait to see them again! These cards and letters are often kept as morale boosters, and its nice to be appreciated!

Soft fluffy towels- Bath Sheet size are ideal.

Powdered Drink Mixes- ie Gatoraide, crystal light, individual packages ( It gets hot in the sandbox and they HAVE to hydrate, these make it easier and tastier

Snacks:
Individual cookie packages
Candy- jaw breakers, starburst, jelly beans, gummy bears
Microwave popcorn
microwave mac and cheese
Granola bars
Trail Mix
anything they like to eat at home
home baked cookies- generally write date baked on and put a peice of bread in the baggie
Paper and pens for them to write you letters

Sheets- pillow cases- it is always nice to have a clean set of sheets!

Socks and Flip Flops... Not to make a fashion Statement, rather for showers and in the boots

Gel Insoles

Pictures or small scrapbook...

A shirt you have worn or sprayed with your perfume in a zip lock bag

Birthday Packages

Everyone has their own traditions for birthdays, but you can always send :

- Cake in a jar
- Tub of icing
- Candles
- Pin the tale on the donkey
- Pinyatta filled with candy
- Pictures
- Birthday Cards*** (really makes them feel special if you throw a card shower for them and includ a ton of cards from family and friends)
- Party Hats

With other holidays just get creative and have fun with it. More than likely if it makes them laugh, it was worth all your effort. I recently sent my husband a flashing tiara for his birthday. he only wore it for about 30 seconds, but he did get a chuckle out of it.

What do you like to send??

Separation Tips

2007-08-02T09:34:00.000-07:00

When your spouse is in the military, spending time apart from each other is inevitable. There is Basic Training, AIT, 24 hour duty, deployments, field training and many more. Dates change he may leave sooner than expected, or train out of state longer than expected.

While separated both of you have a lot of time to think, and sometimes minds can wander. Many times you can not initiate communications, and must wait to hear from them. Your husband will have limited access to phones and computers, if any at all.
It is so important that when he does get to call you, you are happy to get the call. Sometimes you may be having a rough day, week or month, try to stay positive when speaking with him and dont sweat the small stuff.

It is very easy to let a lot of small things add up and get to you, but in the end, it is all just small stuff, that you will soon forget about. Just remember your husband needs your support as much as you need his!

Dealing With Deployment

2007-07-07T10:11:00.001-07:00

These days it is more and more common to have your husband deploy very soon after AIT. Deployment is a very hard thing, but can also be a blessing on your relationship. These are some tips that have helped me this deployment and I hope will help you as well.

1. Communication

Before your husband deploys, sit down with him and tlak about your communication expectations. Sometimes it is not possible for him to write you or call as much as you both would like, but letting each other know what you want will help. If you are newly married or new with the army, it is very important to note that he wants to talk to you as much as you want to talk to him, and he will when he gets a chance. Sending letters and cards often lets him know how much you support him and love him, and keeps him focused! Pray for him, your relationship and his safety! Let him know you are praying for him, when you dont get the chance to talk, he will know before he goes to bed that you and God are keeping an eye out for him! Try to keep your communication as positive as possible, this will ensure he is not distracted from his current tasks.

2. When things get too tough to handle

Take it one day at a time! Talk to God about it, encourage your husband to pray as well. Surround yourself with like minded people and keep busy. Deployments are tough but the appreciation of your time together is worth every moment of waiting. A great way to pass the time is to make cards, write letters, scrapbook, visit family and friends, even get a part time job or volunteer. If you are feeling espeically down or having trouble sleeping, talk to your doctor about it, they are there to help.

3. Help!

There are a lot of resources available to you on base and off base. Get in touch with your FRG or even volunteer with it! If you have kids, most posts offer free child care one day of the month. Check out www.militaryonesource.com for tips on helping kids cope with deployment and also to see what is available to you!

Please feel free to add your tips!

God Bless

Rebekah

A whole new language

2007-06-18T13:48:00.000-07:00

The military loves its acronyms just as much as us online folks. Here are some acronyms that i found very helpful in translating what my husband is saying!

ABN- airborne
AAFES- Army and Air Force Exchange Service
ACU- Army Combat Uniform
AIT- Advanced Individual Training
AKA- also known as
APFT- Army Physical Fitness Test
ASAP- As soon as possible
AWOL- Absent Without Official Leave

BAH- Basic Allowance for Housing
BDU- Battle-Dress Uniform

CASEVAC- Casualty Evacuation
CAV — Cavalry (Armored Cavalry Regiment)
CONUS- CONtinental United States
CQ — Charge of Quarters (aka guarding housing units on base form 1700- 0600 or 24 hours)

DFAC — Dining Facilities Administration Center ( mess hall)
DD- Dear Daughter
DH — Darling (dear) Husband
DS- Dear son

HQ — Headquarters

IED- Improvised Explosive Device

KIA- Killed in Action

MEDEVAC-Medical Evacuation to an aid station or field hospital
MIA- Missing in Action
MOB- mobilization
MOS Military Occupational Specialty
MP Military Police
MRE- Meals, Ready to Eat

NCO- Non-Commissioned Officer

OCONUS — Outside of continental USA, includes alaska and hawaii
OPSEC- Operational Security (aka the most important thing to keep in mind)
OSUT — One-Station Unit Training. Combination of BCT and AIT in the same place

POV- Privately-Owned Vehicle
POW (or PW) Prisoner of War
PT — Physical Training
PTs- PT uniform
PX- Post exhange

R&R- Rest and Relaxation

SF — Special Forces
SOP-Standing Operating Procedure

TDY — Temporary Duty
TF — Task Force

There are thousands more, which you can look up at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._Army_acronyms_and_expressions
which include informal acronyms and slang terms. Feel free to add any acronyms you use!

Benefits and Extras for the military family

2007-06-01T11:31:00.000-07:00

There are a large number of discounts available to the military family. As long as you have your military ID you will be eligible for most.

A great place to look before buying anything or going on a holiday is militaryonesource.com
They have a link to discounts from Airlines to to Theme Parks and everything else in between. When you are shopping, or staying at a hotel, ask if they offer a military discount. Several places do, and usually its a great deal. There are even some resorts around the world strictly for military. The costs are generally based on the military members Pay grade.

When it comes to living on a budget, all these discounts can really help. Often times you can find great prices at the commissary for groceries and everything else at the PX. If you live in a military town there are usually even more discounts available.

If you have the opportunity to check out www.militaryonesource.com You will see there are a lot of resources for you, the spouse! If you are looking for a job, there is a link to places looking to hire you, there are grants and information on Scholarships as well.

You can read up on coping with deployments there are even things available to help you children with deployment and dealing with being in a military family!

On a closing note, if you don't ask you don't know whats available to you. Check your favorite shopping spots, cellular carriers, hotel websites etc and you may be surprised!

2007-05-26T19:07:00.000-07:00

When you are new to the military its hard to understand neither you or your husband really has control over anything at all. Sometimes your husband will make decisions you don't understand even if he isn't forced to, and it can be really frustrating.

Most of the time, Military people have no choice about being deployed, training dates, R and R, CQ duty, Extra duty etc. They will be called in with 7 minuets notice to report to work, or sometimes less than a week before deploying. Sometimes you have an estimated date of separation weeks or months in advance, that will change several times closer to the date. Often times with little or no notice.

The times when they are gone longer than expected or leave sooner than expected can be very frustrating. It is hard to do, but try to let go and let God. A very wise friend told me those instructions. When something like this happens, it can be very upsetting, saddening and confusing.

Remembering that your husband does not have control over a lot of situations is so important. You are a very special type of wife, you are a military wife. As such drawing strength from God, good friends and even within are needed.

Try your very best to be positive about whatever situation you end up in, because regardless of how you react, you will still be in the situation. Your husband needs your support just as much as you need his.

There will also be times when your husband has a choice, say he is deployed and has the chance to come home but decides against this. It can be very confusing, but a lot of times when they are deployed they are fighting for the guys beside them and that is where they feel they need to be. They may not come home because it will take them out of the mindset they require to survive. Try to understand and respect the decision they make. They still love you very much and are just doing what they feel is right.

Learning to roll with the punches and go with the flow will save you hours of worrying, that could be better used elsewhere. Learn not to sweat the small stuff and try to see both sides of a story. Keeping in touch with God and praying are also so helpful. He may not answer you prayers in the way you expect but he will be there for you no matter what!